På spørsmål på den engelskspråklige nettsiden Quora om hva nordmenn tenker om det norske barnevernet, er det et tidligere fosterbarn som forteller:
I am a Norwegian foster child.
I was removed from my family with 2 of my siblings in 1991. My biological father tried to get custody for all his kids, but he was denied it, and only got custody of two of my brothers.
Before we were taken away there was placed several actions in order to keep the family together. Some of them worked, and others added more harm.
I often wonder if I would have been better off being neglected by my own parents, than someone assigned to care for me. The people that I tell my story to, say that my story with the «Barnevernet» CPS is not unique, this happened all over the country in 80’s and early 90’s.
Later in the 90’s the notion that «Not every child is the right fit for your family» arose, and there was a law passed that a child of 14 or older had the right (legally so) to have their voice heard in matters that regarded them. Where they lived, what they could and could not do, holidays etc. This for me at least was the big turning point, where I started to see a good change in the CPS.
I was lucky to get a good caseworker that listened to me in 2001, and I was taken out of fostering and placed in a flat with some lovely people that would keep an eye out on me, and help me if I needed it. I was 14 years old, and was living practically on my own, and had to learn to adjust and figure out how to «adult». For this, I am extremely happy, but the emotional scars from my 11 years in fostering still stings deep to this day.
I do remember being told this:1/3 of every foster child end up needing help the rest of their lives in one way or another.
Dina Ramse
1/3 of every foster child end up in an early grave
1/3 of every foster child end up doing totally fine.
I am not sure if this is still the statistics, but it sure did an impact on me, I was 11 years old when I was told this, and since then I have always done my best to be in the «right» 1/3.
På spørsmål om hva som skjedde med hennes søsken, om de ble plassert i samme fosterhjem, svarte hun:
Dina Ramse
My little brother was placed in the same foster home as myself, and right now he is in prison. He has been in and out of there for a very long time, and I don’t think anything will change on that front.
My sister rarely talks to us, and she seems to be doing great. Forgetting about the past has been her approach and for her it has worked out.
One of my older brothers approach was to find a higher purpose and found it in religion and is living a perfect life on a farm with his family.
My other older brother tried leaving the country and start a life somewhere else, after having visited prison there and some other places in Asia he is now back home So he does his best but he is very whimsical in nature.
We usually meet up for Christmas with the rest of my biological family, we have been able to let go of the past and work out our problems in order to have a functioning relationship with each other.
På spørsmål om hun synes det var traumatisk å bli fjernet fra sine foreldre og hvem som hun trodde var ansvarlig for at broren havnet på skråplanet, svarte hun dette:
It was very traumatic, and I missed my biological parents a great lot growing up. I always knew they where not good for each other, but I loved them, and still do. Even for all their faults, mistakes, my biological parents have tried to make my time with them a joy, and my father went to great length, when we where allowed to visit him (4 hours every 2 months), to make those few hours as fun, as he possible could.
Dina Ramse
The blame is the Foster Home me and my brother was placed in. They had a couple of years prior to taking us in adopted a child, whom I am entirely sure was a psychopath.
It didn’t make for a very easy childhood.
Når hun blir oppfordret til å gå til media med sin historie, svarer hun dette:
I believe that there is no good way to remove a child from their parents in situations like these, I know that Barnevernet did what they could with their limited power, and resources at the time, and they didn’t know how bad things where in the home until I told them that they could choose between taking me out of the home or attending my funeral in the new year.
Dina Ramse
I see no reason to blow this up and share my life with the media, what right do they have to pry on my childhood (?). It would only make things worse, for me, and I am just glad I made it out.
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